Many of you may be familiar with Steve Harvey’s film, Think Like a Man, (a film in which I personally believe aided in tarnishing the mindsets of young African-American women in regards to the way they should act towards men) and the “90-Day Rule.” If not, this rule is self explanatory. The rule is defined as waiting three months (90 days), when dealing with a man, before having sex so that he will take you more seriously and/or get in a relationship with you.
Do not misconstrue my opinion, because in some situations, that rule may indeed prove successful for some, but I personally feel as though there should not be a wait time on sexual encounters. If you feel the vibe is right, have sex! Life is all about taking chances, and if the vibes are right, why wait?
For those of you women that wait because you think he will stay with you, this is not always true. If a man is just looking to “bust a nut,” whether you wait three days or three months, he will be gone after he has you REGARDLESS. I hate to sound cliche, but these are facts. “Happily ever after” is for Disney Movies, not so much real life… be a little more realistic.
The bigger picture you may want to observe, is the way you present yourself and the type of man you attract. Do you ever stop to think that some men come and go after sex with you simply because you present yourself in such a way that does not give off the “worth building a relationship with” vibe? In MOST cases, the type of person you attract is a reflection of your presentation, and the type of things you allow yourself to settle for. Example, you want an educated man with goals in life, but you give attention to the guys that approach you saying, “you a bad bitch! What’s good with you?” I don’t know about you, but that does not come across as “educated” man to me, sounds a little more on the ignorant, “I don’t respect women” side.
Surprisingly… well sadly, not so surprising, there are countless women who do not respect themselves enough to not fall for that and demand better for themselves. Relating this back to the topic at hand, “how soon is too soon,” if you present yourself in such a way that is respectable, MOST men will notice this, and you in turn, will attract more respectable men who are on the same page as you, with similar intentions. Your timing on sexual activity will not be a huge deal, because you are not presenting yourself as someone only worth a “hit and quit.”
Besides everything I have mentioned, most importantly, be sure to pay attention to the people you choose to deal with. Often times, it is quite obvious when someone is just looking for a “quick nut,” you just choose to ignore the signs, or not look for them at all. Truly get to know a person’s character and intentions before allowing them to engage in sexual activities with you. Most times the issue is not how quickly you had sex with a person, but how quickly you gave them your full trust without truly knowing the individual’s character.
There is no such thing as “too soon” when it comes to sex, opinions differentiate from person to person. Some people do not mind sex after a night, and others will not engage in sex until after marriage. Sexual relations are purely built off of vibes, so go ahead and enjoy yourself, just be smart about it!